What kind of wife and mother should I strive to be...

It's Thoughtful Thursday!! Today's post is written by a friend of mine, Denise, who I admire and seek Godly counsel from when I need it. She's kinda one of my go to gals if I have a question or need prayer. It's so important to put Godly women in our lives to help us in our walk with God! Denise is a wife, mother and grandmother.  Her website is Ministry of Truth

What kind of woman and wife should we strive to be?

Esther 1:9-12, 15-20

Vashti showed a lack of respect towards her husband…personally and publically.  Our bad actions as wives will hurt not only our husband but if the action is done publically it sets a bad example outside of our home.

Disrespect towards our spouse can cause division and separation in our home…as we read in Esther 1:19.  Vashti’s disrespect caused her to be separated from the King – so the King sent word to find a new Queen.  A Queen whom he would later find to be the exact opposite of Vashti.  They would be different as night and day!

The search for a new Queen…

Esther 2:1-4; 8-9

Besides her obvious beauty, what kind of woman was Esther?  (Scripture gives us a hint about her virtues.  I have underlined some of these virtues in the following comments)

Esther 2:12-17

It took Esther a year of preparation to come before the King.  Through scripture we can see an example of the patience in her life.

Esther 4:13-16

Through scripture we see that Esther was not selfish – even though she may have been afraid she thought of others instead of herself.  In Esther 4:16 she said: “if I perish, I perish”.  Esther also fasted and prayed for God’s will

Esther 5:1-3; 6

Esther showed not only patience and beauty but also wisdom when petitioning the King.  Her timing was perfect.  She was not forceful but she elegantly waited for the King to call her to him.  We can learn from her example to think before we act out impulsively!

(You will also notice in the scripture we just read that the King told her he would give her half the Kingdom.  Marriage should be 50/50…both should share with each other…not only material possessions but love and respect towards each other.)

Esther 8:3-8

A big part of Esther’s inward beauty is that she put her people before herself, even though she held a very high position – and did not know whether or not she would be killed when she revealed that she too was a Jew.  She still wept for her people despite the possible danger to her own life.

It was totally the opposite for Vashti.  She let her position and beauty cause her to disrespect her husband…treating him as if he were unimportant.


Let’s look at a scriptural example of what God’s Word tells us about the virtuous woman (wife).

Proverbs 31:10-31

Our beauty should not only be external – but also internal.  Esther’s beauty was not only external – but it was internal!  Beauty does not make us a good woman or wife.  We see this through scripture with the story of Vashti and Esther.  Both were beautiful women but both were not beautiful inside.   

When we treat our husband the way that God teaches us in His Word we not only bless them but we bless our own life!  We bless our homes and ultimately our children.  We even bless those outside of our household by setting an example before them. 

Proverbs 12:4

Scripture tells us that we are a crown to our husband.  (Let’s not be a tarnished crown to them)

When we treat our husbands with love and respect God will help them to love us the way he (God) intended for them to. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25

It may not always be easy to follow Esther’s example but I doubt it was always easy for her – yet she did what was right.  We do not always see the big picture, but our actions can change lives if we will do what is right.  Sometimes it may be hard to do what is right when others (including our husband) may be doing what is wrong, but God’s Word tells us to do everything as unto the Lord.  Colossians 3:23

God does not tell us to treat our husbands good only for their benefit…but God wants to bless us too!  It teaches us to love and respect the Lord in a deeper way.  If we love and respect our husband we will in turn learn how to love and respect the Lord – after all, the Word tells us that God also is our husband.  Isaiah 54:5

And we, God’s people, are all His bride!  Revelation 19:7-9



In my daily prayer, I ask God to make me the woman, wife and mom that I need to be. I ask him to change me and make me what He wants me to be. Sometimes it's painful as God prunes us and molds into the person He wants to be but the He never let's your pain be for nothing. It's always for His glory. We are always better, have more peace, joy and a closer walk with God as we strive to be the woman God wants us to be! Be encouraged ladies!! 

Starla J. 

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  1. Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm so glad you stopped by!

  2. Very nicely written, dropping in from BOBBS

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by!

  3. Replies
    1. You are so welcome! Thank you for stopping by!

  4. Great post. This really hit home with me today as I find myself also musing on my new role as a mother and how that fits into the rest of 'me'. I'd love you to stop by and check out my own post along this train of thought if you get a chance!
    "But Who Am I Now?" A new mom's musing... http://www.theblossomingbump.com/?p=1184

    Have a blessed day!

    Carly @ www.theblossomingbump.com

    1. Thank you for commenting, Carlene! I will check out your blog. Thank you!


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