The hard part about being married to an imperfect man is that we are called to trust him and submit to him anyways - even when:
- When he forgets to pay bills
- When he breaks a promise
- When he grows depressed
- When he acts irresponsibly
- When he acts unloving
- When he runs from God like Jonah
Because I certainly do!
When I see evidence that my husband is really struggling in his faith and not walking well with the Lord, I begin to question his judgement and leadership for our family.
That slippery slope of distrust quickly leads straight to disrespect if I don't catch it in time.
And then who is the one not walking well with the Lord? It's me.
In failing to trust my husband's leadership, I'm really failing to trust God.Because if I truly trust God, then I believe He will care for our family no matter what decisions my husband makes, no matter what the consequences might be, whether they are decisions I agree with or not. I trust that the Father has placed me under my husband's umbrella for a reason.
"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24 (NASB)Wives, be subject "as to the Lord." In the same way that we submit to and place our trust in the Lord's authority, we should also submit to and place our trust in our husband's authority.
That's a hard truth to swallow, my sisters in Christ.
If I trust God, then I trust that He knows what He is doing in my husbands life. I trust that He is still at work in my man. I trust that He will not allow anything into our lives, our marriage, our family, that will fail to result in good for us somewhere down the road.
Because submitting to my husband, means submitting to the Lord. Does that mean I must follow my husband blindly into disaster or even sin?
At the same time, I can affirm that I trust his leadership because I trust our loving Father. I can love him even when I feel unloved myself. I can have compassion on him because I know what it's like to wrestle with the Lord myself!
I can become a praying wife who spends time on her knees asking the Father to work mightily in her husband's heart.
Even though trusting God by trusting my husband might make life uncomfortable for a while, I will ultimately reap the blessing of obedience.
And my husband will enjoy the blessing of a supportive wife who does her best to understand his work-in-progress status. And our children will see how a couple works through the tough times in married life together rather than growing distant from one another.
What a beautiful lesson.
I'm asking you to be a trusting wife today.
Furthermore, the enemy himself will insert a voice, too. He'll whisper lies about how unfair it is of God to ask you to be obedient when your husband is not. He'll tell you to take matters into your own hands instead like Sarah did so long ago.
He'll drag you right into the mess if you let him.
Don't listen to those lies, friends!
I've been that distrusting, nagging wife. In fact, from time to time I still am, to my disgrace.
But in all our sixteen years of marriage, I've never found that path to actually work. Using my words as a weapon only serves to separate us further from one another, and it leads me into sin.
What does work?
Belief in a God who can and will do the impossible in your marriage.
Trust your husband, not because he's always trustworthy or because he deserves it, But because you trust a faithful God.