Praying For Those Who Hurt Us

I'm sure we all could quickly come up with one, two or even several names of people that have hurt, betrayed, lied and/or offended us. 

Our first human response is usually to want nothing to do with them any longer and maybe even try to hurt them in return by snubbing them or worse. Isn't there a bible verse that says something like an "eye for an eye"? 

The "eye for an eye" quote comes from the book of Matthew in the New Testament. Let's take a closer look at what it says:

"38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well." Matthew 5:38-40 NIV

God doesn't want us to take revenge, hate, nor return the hurt towards those that have scarred our hearts. It's actually the opposite of what He wants us to do. Read Romans 12:19.

God wants us to pray for those that hurt us. 

The best way to deal with the ones that hurt you is to pray for them. Pray for your enemy.

To be completely honest, my first thought of God wanting me to pray for those that hurt me was a huge NO. I don't want to think about them. I'd be content if they didn't exist. To be sure, I definitely wasn't thinking about praying for them. 

Let's see what the Bible says on this issue.

"Bless those that curse you, and pray for them that despitefully use you."  Luke 6:28 KJV

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use and persecute you." Matthew 5:44 KJV

I felt God gently tugging at my heart to let go of the pain I was holding and pray for my enemies as I read those verses. 

God cares for our pain and circumstances. He is always here to comfort us, to be our strength, to heal our wounds and be our refuge in hard times. However, those of us in Christ, need to stand on the knowledge of who He is and who we are in Him. This includes acknowledging and responding to painful situations in a way that glorifies Christ. 

God loves those that hurt us. He wants to see them restored. He has hope, grace, mercy, forgiveness, wholeness, joy, peace and so much love for ALL of us - even for those that hurt us. 

As Christians, we also need to remember that the fight isn't against each other. The bible tells us the real battle is against satan. So we must acknowledge what is behind people's bad behavior. 

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12  

I want to offer you encouragement for when you are battling the thought of praying for someone that has hurt you. 

God sees and He is big enough to handle your raw feelings and emotions. Tell Him all about your pain. God knows what you are thinking anyways. You don't have to hide them or pretend you feel differently. It's ok to not be ok with the harm others have caused you. However, after you tell God all about your pain, humbly pray for your offender - asking God to bless them. And, it is ok to tell God you are having a hard time praying for the ones that have hurt you.  

As we spend time with the Lord in prayer, He offers a great exchange. He will fill us with the fruits of the Spirit and transform us into who He wants us to be. We need to stand on the truth of who Christ is and who we are in Him. 

 The best way to deal with those that hurt you is to pray for them.

much love, 

Starla J. 


  1. Starla, this was so good! It goes against our sinful nature to want to pray for those who hurt us, but thankfully God has put in us a new nature when we claim Jesus as our Lord and Savior- and with the Holy Spirit's help, we CAN pray for those who hurt us. Thank you for sharing this.

    1. Thank you, Dawn for the encouragement. It can be hard but God calls us to pray for those people that hurt us.

  2. I love this post! I use to struggle with the anger i felt with my enemies, i couldnt even hear their names without getting frustrated, but i too felt the need to pray for them! Now i have a heart for them, when i see they are struggling, i hurt for them! Praying for your enemies is so important and so true to overcoming and forgiving! Its so important that we realize that satan is the true enemy as well, pray for those who persecute you! AMEN to that!

  3. my pastor always says that praying for those who hurt us helps us with forgiving them :)

  4. A very good reminder but frankly, not one I want right now. I think out of obedience comes the prayer. I am getting there... slowly. But He is a good God. thanks for posting.

  5. It's so difficult topray for those that have been malicious and hurtful to me. Thank you for this reminder to pray for them and to see that it's more than an earthly issue, but a spiritual warfare.


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